Violence

I found out today that one of my students from last year was shot on Monday night. Twice in the stomach…but he’ll recover. I don’t think I’ve had adequate time to process this information yet, but for right now, I’m…sad? Taken aback? Relieved? Annoyed? Unphased?

I’m sad because Kris is genuinely a nice, intelligent kid. He is dripping with shmooze, and given his combination of brains, charm, and looks, could probably have gone on to become a wildly successful politician if he had been born in a different, more nurturing environment. This just brings home what a waste Baltimore City creates. I’m taken aback because of the general response to this. One of our students was SHOT. None of the students said anything about it all day. The two staff members who mentioned it just asked if I was going to visit him, or shared about the same response that I did (sort of “what a bummer). There was no shock. There was no grieving. Really, there was no response. Just an announcement on the PA to keep him and his family in our thoughts. My relief stems, guiltily, from the fact that he wasn’t a student who I felt particularly attached to. I can name about 50 kids from last year who, if they were shot, would absolutely break my heart. I like Kris, but we weren’t close. He wasn’t a good student, and we didn’t get along very well when he was in my class. If it had been one of MY kids, I think my reaction would have been different. I’m annoyed because of some indefinable part of me who feels this should be a teachable moment. I agree that we should keep Kris and his family in our prayers. I agree that this is an extremely unfortunate situation. But what was this child doing that got him shot? I think it’s extremely unlikely to get shot twice in the stomach on accident…so who did he annoy? What did he do wrong? And could we maybe bring this up with the students as a bit of a lesson in keeping your nose clean? Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t wish getting shot on anyone, but now that it’s happened, could we take some steps to keep it from happening to another kid? And that brings me to where I’m unphased. I didn’t really think about this all day. I forgot to tell Matt, and I forgot to tell my mom. It didn’t ruin my day, it didn’t bring me down. It really didn’t enter in to my life at all. I remember in high school, my freshman year, our quarterback got shot. He was in the middle of a fight. It was a BIG FREAKING DEAL. We talked about it for days. Now, we’ve had two kids shot in two years, and we don’t talk about either one of them at all, don’t even think about it. It puzzles me.

Last year, I became obsessed with City Paper’s “Murder Ink” column. I looked through the archives as far back as I could, reading names to see if I recognized any of them. Each month that I made it through without finding the fate of one of my students, I breathed a sigh of relief. When I got to March of 2007, I was unreasonably surprised to find the name of one of my students from my first year of teaching – but not as a victim. This student was out of school all year until January, when he showed up for the beginning of the 2nd semester. I asked where he’d been, and he told me he was “locked up.” I shook my head, and he asked me to put in a good word for him with his new teachers. This was the last I saw of him because, in February, he and his younger brother killed a 40-ish year old man that they lived with. This really blew me away – I taught a murderer. Of course, knowing the statistics in Baltimore, I suppose this shouldn’t be so surprising. It shouldn’t shock me that my kids are getting shot….honestly, in some ways, I’m surprised (and extraordinarily thankful) that none of my kids have been killed yet. It shouldn’t have shocked me when Myron told me a few weeks ago that his uncle was in prison for murder. I guess it just seems so strange to me because it is so normal to them.

In all, I think that information like this – the prevalence of murder, violence, and other issues – among my students helps to reinforce why my job is important. My kids need options, good influences, and a way out of this mess. And that is why I teach for America. ;-)